Last night, we (a group of friends and I) went to the relatively new club at the (Gautrain) Radisson: ZAR. Let me just say that not all the ZAR in the world could have have made this night enjoyable. Generally, a less-than-appealing venue can still be turned into a great night out by the company you keep, but not even my amazing friends could rescue THIS evening!
Gosh...where to begin?
Firstly, I loathe the look of the club. The decorator, for God alone knows what reason, decided that purple and grey/silver was a good colour scheme to work with. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!?! There are random elements of beauty - the view, for example, but that cannot be attributed to the club - but there is nothing remotely cohesive or beautiful about the decor or layout.
Secondly, in keeping with said colour scheme, the waiters and waitresses also wear purple. Can I just say that purple is NOT everyone's colour. I'm also all for non-discrimination in terms of the waitresses sizes, but then, for the love of God, be mindful of their varying sizes when dressing them! A larger girl does not look attractive in a short, (say it with me now) purple dress. I don't even want to talk about the purple satin shirts the waiters have to wear. It's fashion slavery! Give them free!
Thirdly, and probably most importantly: the ZAR it costs to frequent ZAR! Gob-smacked is an understatement. My poor (not financially) friends did what they always do and asked the waitress for a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of lime. The answer they received was LEGEN......wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY! A bottle of ordinary whiskey (not single malt, 9-druple distilled, 1845 year old, kiss of the Saaz hop whiskey, or however good whiskey is measured) is 960 ZAR! A glass of wine: 100 ZAR! Et le piece de resistance: a bottle of lime...{drum roll}....is 300 SOUTH AFRICAN RAND!!!!!!!!
Now I ask you, with tears in my vision-impaired eyes, does a badly decorated, badly-dressed-staff, terrible-music-playing, unnecessarily expensive club sound like a fun night out, or a night without fun?
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